Collecting Losses

Suddenly you are walking away and your head turns to glance at me over your unfamiliar shoulder
Hands reaching to grasp another, far too far to reach
Words falling short of 4 ears, breathing in nothing, saying nothing
a feeling deep at the pit of my stomach, tearing everything up
Making thoughts so close only hours before in another damn galaxy
Untouchable as you are, what else can I do?
Desperately grasping, nothing nothing nothing.
You are not anyone else, you are you, you are not going to do what they did
To me you have to be different, but those fears, these fears, they are all the same as before.
Suddenly you are walking away, but how could you be walking away when you were never really walking toward me?
My arms and hands too heavy to even lift a needle and thread
Empty promises, empty notebooks, empty lines
I asked myself why, and thought "because you let me"
My mouth kept forming a word that my ears feared to hear,
Every time, tears, but the best kind
Reminding, reminding this is just me.